Keys to Leadership

What makes a leader truly great?

I’ve asked this question in countless leadership trainings, and the same traits consistently come up in the answers: fair, firm, trustworthy, a good listener, skilled communicator, and strong in people leadership.

But even more important than these qualities is one thing: that the leader knows themselves: their behaviour patterns, reactions, and stress responses. The better a leader is at being in sync with themselves, the more authentically and better they lead. They no longer need to wear a mask or perform a role.

When a Leader Loses Connection with Themselves

Many leadership problems stem from a lack of self-awareness. When a leader is disconnected from themself, their leadership becomes reactive, inconsistent, and inauthentic.

By contrast, a grounded, self-aware leader genuinely cares about their people and wants to see them succeed. They take time to lead individuals, embrace diversity, and ensure everyone has a chance to be heard.

Where Should a Leader Begin?

Step 1: Recognize your current state.

Be honest about what is and isn’t working.

Step 2: Be open to change and new perspectives.

Transformation starts with a willingness to grow.

Step 3: Make visible both your own and others' strengths and challenges.

Transparency fosters trust and development.

Step 4: Observe differences and practice authentic interactions.

Learning to meet others as they are is key.

Communication Styles & Motivation: Two Powerful Tools

Understanding communication styles and motivation factors is essential for increasing self-awareness and improving how we interact with others.

There are three main communication styles:

• The Thinker – Analytical and detail-oriented, communicates slowly and thoroughly.

• The Feeler – People-focused and emotional, communicates spontaneously and personally.

• The Doer – Action-oriented and direct, communicates briefly and to the point.

These styles help explain why communication flows easily with some people—and feels challenging with others.

Motivators: What Drives Us?

There are nine key motivators: Exchange, Safety, Adventure, Influence, Expression, Freedom, Expansion, Recognition, and Communion.

Each person has three top needs. When these are fulfilled, they significantly influence job satisfaction, well-being, and harmony in relationships, both at work and at home.

For a leader, understanding their own and others motivators helps in giving feedback, in development discussions, setting roles, and building cohesive teams.

Case Example: A Small Business Owner’s Team Struggles

An entrepreneur came to me sharing their challenges. After assessing the situation, it became clear that leadership habits also needed attention.

This entrepreneur was a classic Feeler - valuing atmosphere and spontaneity, while most of their team were Doers: direct, and brief in communication.

The entrepreneur’s top motivators were Adventure and Freedom, which meant they valued independence and constant change. The team’s key motivators were Exchange and Safety, therefore they needed clear communication, predictability, and structure.

On top of this, the entrepreneur was often stressed, which buried their natural strengths.

But a shift occurred. Once the entrepreneur realised they were both the lock and the key to their company’s success, they made meaningful changes:

• Introduced regular team meetings

• Started sharing plans in advance

• Respected different communication styles

• Actively reduced stress

Team satisfaction improved—and so did performance. This applies to any team when they get in sync.

💡 Final Thought

In leadership, what feels natural to you might not be natural for someone else. Great leadership also means managing your personal life, because unresolved tensions at home will show up at work—and vice versa.

Taking ownership of your choices and using your strengths consciously are real keys to a better tomorrow.

"Know Thyself." – Socrates